I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
And then he peed in my hair
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