Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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