Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
