P.S. I can't hear my feet
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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