if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
