I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I love having hate sex.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
