there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
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Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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