I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
