i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
