can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
