i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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