Cold hands, warm shart.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
