I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
