"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
even my farts smell like vagina
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you didnt know i had herpes?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
