I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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