i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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