I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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