I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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