he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
