hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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