we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
