cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
