at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm always down for nudity.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
