You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
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Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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