OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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