when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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