Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
