New low: just hacked my moms facebook
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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