You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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