Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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