dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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