I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
