So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
