The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
