Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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