dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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