when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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