but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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