you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
