All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish you could order shots online.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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