Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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