He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
