what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
