its not stalking. its research.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
