good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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