I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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