seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
