its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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