After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
