On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My breasts were aching with rage.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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