yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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