scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
