Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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