Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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