let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
