but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize