I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
In America we eat man semen.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
