I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
