I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
