That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
